I have been seeing a lot of hatred toward each other, and I'm tired. Tired of women putting each other down because one doesn't look like the other thinks they should, raises their kid like the other woman thinks the child should be raised, believes something the other doesn't. I'm here to tell you we were not all made the same on purpose, as the good Lord above decided to put a little variety in the world - and as the old saying goes, variety is the spice of life.
The media likes to spice things up on their own, and social media acts as a sounding board. You know the kind I'm talking about - a woman that society deems "heavy set" or "overweight" wears a bathing suit to the beach, shows a bit of skin, and then America goes insane, tearing the woman down. On the other hand, celebrities put up professional photos where they have been airbrushed and then photoshoped, making them look more perfect than they already do, and society eats it up. Are you seeing a trend here? Society tells us what to eat, wear, do, look like. Do me a favor, tell society to shut up.
I'd like to start a movement, something others are also trying to start up, and I figure one more hashtag wouldn't hurt for the cause. I'm proposing that we no longer tear each other down, as maybe when that woman on the beach had insults hurled at her, they dug deep and latched onto that area of self-loathing she already possessed. Maybe she had been told by her husband that she could rock that tankini, but her self doubt told her not to. She told her self doubt to take a backseat, and then when she heard what others were saying, it took her high to a new low. Turn the tables - what if she had done that to you? You'd feel awful.
We were raised with the notion that 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' I've got news for you - that's a lie. Take my own life, for example. I have never weighed above 126 lbs, and I got that high by lifting weights within the last year. I'm 5'4 without the help of heels, and I have always been rail thin. It didn't matter how much food I put in me, my metabolism was burning it as fast as I could send it down. I have always had nicknames of "Stick girl," "Tiny," and my all time favorite, "President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee." I ask you, who comes up with this crap? And why? I may have laughed along at the time, but inside, I was dying a little. I didn't like being this small, as it made me a target. I've got news for you, not only bigger people get picked on and made fun of, and it doesn't matter what size you are, words hurt. I am happy to say I took those years and years of pain, and I've turned it into results. In the last year, I have started using my metabolism to my advantage, and added weights to the mix. I'm still skinny, but now, I can kick some hater ass. I am taking my own pledge, that I'm not putting up with this nit picking crap anymore. I am beautiful, strong, and I love being in my own skin, so hurl your worst at me. Guess what? I love you, too, and even though your words aren't making you very pretty right now, I think you're gorgeous.
The Challenge
Ladies, do me a favor, and go stand in front of your mirror. You're welcome to do this clothed if you like, but I'd prefer you in some state of undress. We're not just looking at weight today, we're looking at all the things that society claims are imperfections. I'm going to show you how to embrace these "flaws," and I'm going to use me as an example. Ready? No? Well get ready, because here we go.
We're going to start at the top of our heads and work our way down. I have acne issues - on my face, scalp, chest, and back. Even my upper arms have issues sometimes. I can cover it on my face with makeup, but most of the time I get up too late for that nonsense, so society is stuck seeing my blemishes. I have found that drinking more water and eating healthier takes care of these (sex also helps, although I still have yet to do the research as to why that is).
My chest is a source of pride for me now, but it used to be a target for teasing bullies. I was an A cup all through high school, then magically became a B cup during college. Now that I'm working out (bench presses are good for the flat bosom), I'm in a C cup and holding steady - a low C, but a C nonetheless. I can hold up strapless dresses - like the one I'm in today - with no help from padded bras.
My stomach and thighs. God help me, but these are my trouble areas. I have cellulite on my thighs and buttocks, and my lower stomach pokes out enough to give me that lovely "muffin top". Squats and lunges are helping with the booty, and I'm still working on my abs, but those take a while to come around. My husband and I are also trying for a little one, so all my work in this area will (hopefully) soon be dashed a bit, and I'll have to start over.
My feet. I hate feet. I don't like mine touched, I don't like others' feet touching me. Painting the toenails helps make them a little pretty, but all in all, feet are my least favorite body part. There's no way to remedy this for me.
Moles! Holy sweet Moses, but thanks to my lineage, I have them everywhere. According to the doctor I saw when I had a pre-cancerous mole on my left inner ankle removed (which left an interesting scar), it's between the years of 20-30 that people gain the moles they'll carry with them through the rest of their days. Since I turned 30 this year, I'm hoping that means I'm done being a mole factory, as when I say I have them everywhere, I mean I have them EVERYWHERE.
So, here's how I see my "imperfections" - actually, I hate that term, because God made me & you in his image, so therefore, we are not imperfect. These things make me who I am, from the top of my brunette head to the tips of my size 7 feet. My eyes are blue and framed by glasses, which helps to turn me into the stereotypical librarian that I am. Here's the thing, though - people who don't know me only see the outside. They have no clue that I took all online courses between 2011 and 2015, and got both a Bachelors and a Masters in that time frame. They don't know that I love to read, crochet, and spend time with family and friends, be it outdoors or in. They don't know that my husband is slowly awakening a love for hiking and camping in me that I didn't even know I possessed. They don't know that I have buried two grandparents, one only a few weeks ago, and I still struggle with it daily. They don't know that when my husband goes out of town on business trips, I bring my childhood teddy bear into bed with me for comfort - my husband's too. You know why they don't know this? Because they made a snap judgement before getting to know me.
That being said, I want to introduce you to some other beautiful ladies!
My Girls
These ladies are some of my very favorite people in the world. They've given me permission to use them for this project, and I'm so glad they said yes! I'm going to introduce you, one by one.
Liz
Liz is one of my favorite coworkers, and is turning out to be one of my favorite people in life. She has an energy that just kills me sometimes, with hair to match. We can have serious conversations, or just laugh, and she's been there for me through some trying times at work. She's not afraid to let her inner nerd shine through, and it's one of the many things I love about her. Liz is an awesome up and coming photographer, and I swear she could be an expert for all things Apple. She has the kindest heart, and wants everyone to be happy, because everyone should be allowed happiness. She also did a marvelous job on the Color Run we did last month, and I couldn't have been more proud of her!
Lauren
Lauren is my sista-from-anotha-motha, my soul sister, and one of my very best friends. She gave me the push to get into fitness (and being a health and fitness coach, that's kind of her job). She's a husky momma, leader of her own team of health and fitness coaches, and all around awesome lady. She's my crochet buddy, and the one I run to when I need a girls night, not to mention my Saturday brunch date. She pushes me to be my very best me, and for that, I'll never be able to thank her enough.
Monica
This lady has a sense of humor like you wouldn't believe, and she calls it her inner 13 year old boy. She can quote movie lines like no one else I know, and help make the work day go by faster. She is, hands down, the best boss I've ever had the pleasure to work for, and also one of my favorite people to be around outside of work - in fact, I'm pretty sure we were separated at birth somehow. She makes stepmothering seem easy, and shares my love of peppermint mochas. I'm so glad she hired me on, if for no other reason that I got a great friend out of the deal.
Stephanie
I truly wish I had known Stephanie when I got married, because then my wedding photos would have been as mind blowingly gorgeous as the boudoir photos I had taken a year ago. She is a gorgeous lady with a beautiful soul (and voice!) to match. I don't know her nearly as well as I wish I did, but I still count her among my favorite people.
Kathi
I met Kathi through another friend, and instantly hit it off. Our personalities just synced, and we chatted like we were old friends who had known each other forever, but had only just met five minutes before. This woman can make me laugh, and we can talk about anything and not get annoyed or offended with each other. She won't put up with your crap, and she loves life to the hilt.
Sondra
Yet another young lady that I'm still getting to know, yet already love to pieces! Sondra is epic, and someone I admire greatly. She is hardworking, caring, sarcastic, hysterical, and one of the best moms out there to an awesome little boy. I'm so excited to get to know her more and more, and call her not only a friend, but a sister.
My point
My point for this post is to remind women everywhere that we come in all shapes and sizes, all backgrounds, ethnicities, belief systems. We catch enough crap from society for not fitting into their standard box of perfect, we shouldn't be slinging crap at each other. These women are our sisters, whether they're blood or not, and it's high time we all realized that. Remember that Golden Rule?
Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
I can guarantee you wouldn't want to be called names, talked down to, talked about behind your back or on social media. We can put a stop to this, but it's going to take work and dedication. If you wouldn't want it said about you, don't say it about others. Be the beautiful woman inside that you are on the outside.
The Pledge
Write this down, stick it on your bathroom mirror, or somewhere else that you'll see it daily, and then repeat it like a mantra:
I am beautiful, inside and out, and I will not let anyone tell me otherwise. If I see or hear of someone speaking negatively to another woman, I will help put a stop to it. I will not repeat the negativity. We are all beautiful.
Say it. Believe it. Do it. Hashtag it. #WeAreBeautiful Let's spread this all over. Love you, ladies!
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